Episcopacy of All Who Hope

Years ago on a flight from Cairo to Amman, I asked a Palestinian man, an architect from Nablus, what he hoped for. He told me he dreamed of a homeland, security for his family, future grandchildren, fellow Palestinians and a port city. I think of him often as Nablus, like most recently  the Gaza Strip, has been a dangerous place.  I wonder if his grandchildren are safe and hoping they are all alive.

An old Hasidic saying states that the Messiah will come when all the citizens of Jerusalem come out and weep together in the streets. . . .

I pray in hope to weep with one another tonight, then embrace and sing together a new song. . . . . .

From the Book of Common Prayer: What is adoration?  Adoration is the lifting up of the heart and mind to God, asking nothing but to enjoy God’s presence.

What is the mission of the Church?  The mission of the Church is to restore all people to unity with God and each other in Christ.

From Huffington Post: “Watch Eric Whitacre's talk about a global choir that came together on YouTube and the power of crowd-sourced creativity.
It all began with that single video by Britlin Losee, and my god how it has blossomed from there. Our third Virtual Choir video, Water Night, was released this past Spring and features 3,746 videos from 73 different countries.”
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/eric-whitacre/virtual-choir_b_2175526.html

I watched Eric’s TED talk and saw the video. It, the video, “felt like church.”  Eric reminded me of an overseer for a  sacred congregation.  For a few brief moments, as I have on a few  cherished occasions, I was lifted up in heart and mind and saw some of the 3,746 manifestations of the Cosmic Christ. And I was restored to unity with God and my neighbors.  My heart sang a new song in peace and joy.

Back to this moment:  it no longer “feels like church” in church to me.  The episcopacy, as now practiced, oversees not a large manifestation of the Cosmic Christ  but rather staffs, programs and other things that do not much find sacred definition in the Catechism.  I remember other times from my first little Episcopal Church in Larned, Kansas where, if anything, I felt and saw Christ in Word, Sacrament, a dear priest and faithful worshipers, later to seeing auras around preachers whose voices I believe were heard in heaven and admiring a whole host of bishops, priests, deacons and lay folk who to me shined with the Spirit in many sorts and conditions.

I long for a new manifestation of an episcopacy of all the faithful.  I do not mean just bishops who are only one order of the whole episcopacy and whose role is now largely an expensive encumbrance to “feeling like church,” auras and the communion of the saints. The Book of Common Prayer gives us the tools to move on to a restoration of hope and holiness at least as I read it and rarely hear publicly recited with soul.  As Advent comes, I hope to find companions who weep, worship, warm each others’ hearts and can  sing a new song.

Clergy Wellness and Episcopal Journey Poll

In October I wrote that the 2006 CREDO Clergy Wellness Report said that Episcopal clergy believed "in their general sense of well-being, confident in undertaking new challenges, and commitment to their ministries are strong."  However, our Episcopal Journey of Hope poll tells a different story.  Only 12% of the respondents said that the 2006 report is accurate today.  54% of you said that we are not as well off today is reported six years ago.  15% of you said that perhaps clergy wellness is the same as 2006 and 12% report that you had no clue.  For me the most significant thing is that only 12% of the respondents felt like we are as well today as we were six years ago.  The question is then, WHAT HAPPENED?  WHY DO WE BELIEVE THAT WE ARE LESS WELL TODAY THAN WE WERE SIX YEARS AGO?

I interviewed some clergy friends and elicited some very strident opinions. 

I asked a bishop what he thought.  He suggested that the clergy responding to the 2006 questionnaire were not telling the truth.  In his conversations with diocesan priests he often heard them say that they were all right when in fact they were falling apart.  My experience mentoring clergy bears this out.  Priests tell themselves they are OK.  They believe that they ought to be OK.  They deny that they are not OK.  They are loathe to admit to someone that they are not in good shape while inside he or she may be trembling.

I digress.  How about conducting a bishop wellness survey?  I've been ordained more than 50 years and my experience with many bishops led me to question the sanity of some of them.  Come on CREDO, conduct a wellness report on the Episcopacy.

The priests I interviewed told me that accelerating church and financial decline has enhanced clergy feelings of stress, inadequacy, hopelessness and self-esteem.  Because the church has reached the edge, reality has set in and this has caused the clergy to think that they are not as well as they were six years ago.

One priest told me that at his recent diocesan convention the clergy and delegates were walking around looking like "zombies."  Well, perhaps that is an overstatement.  But then again, maybe parish priests are feeling the shock of our rapidly sinking ship.

Another priest said that late ordinations are a significant factor in clergy wellness.  Late ordinands soon discover that they won't and can't reach their full potential.  Many become Vicars or Rectors of very small churches, wake up to the reality that its really not as neat as they thought it would be, become aware of the fact that they will not advance and  become stressed, discouraged or depressed. 

The irony is that some late vocations become rectors of big churches and others are elected bishops without any real history of parish ministry.  This is discouraging to many priests who have labored in the trenches for many years, have been tutored parish by parish in the rigors of parish ministry, and then are bypassed by those with little or no experience in corporate rectorships and diocesan bishop elections.  The Presiding Bishop and my own bishop are perfect examples of this. 

Some felt like the financial situation in our country contributes to the decline in church finances and therefore leads to clergy insecurity which leads to increased stress.

I thought that CREDO was going to conduct a wellness survey again in 2012.  If so, I wonder what that report will look like?  However, if what I am hearing on the street is true, Episcopal priests are not feeling as well as CREDO suggested they were six years ago. 

My advice?  If you are depressed and stressed get a soul friend, a therapist and a support group.  And be prepared to change careers.  You have the skills that translate into a non church job.  On the flip side, some of you will make it through the thickened labyrinth of our declining church.  Just protect your sanity along the way anyway you can.  Its going to be tough.

The Bishop Speaks

The Bishop speaks - Introduction

I have great hope for the future of the diocese. One of my hopes is for our diocese to become a place where clergy are dying to get in rather than dying when they get in.

I was asked, in the public interview process before the election of a new bishop, how I would describe my strongest point in being a bishop. This was an easy question for me to answer. My greatest strength, as I would put it, is my memory of what life was like as a rector. I have served under four bishops in my nearly 20 years of ordination and it was not always great. My commitment to you and to myself is that I will take the things which my bishops did that I liked and I will do those things. The things they did which I did not like will not be done here. I need to tell you the things I liked, as a rector, are part of a very short list.

Now, having said that, you need to know things will be different under my leadership because I am different from my predecessor. Whatever directions we decide to take in the future, we need to be free to not let that be a criticism of the past. We will draw a line. We are now here. We are going to do things differently, and I do not want any of us to keep apologizing for that. We are now on the other side of the line, and it's all OK. I believe my predecessor was clearly the man of the hour to do the things he did. I bless that and it is now a new day. Let us begin.

I want to establish an environment which is penalty-free regarding thinking. You are totally free to express your thoughts. To do anything else stifles creativity. The gifts we need are all here. For us to work most effectively, we need to set them all free. To the extent we put restrictions on people's freedom to think, we restrict what we can do.

In order to have a penalty-free environment, someone is going to have to take some risks. I will be that person. My first risk is telling you this. Every one of us is going to have to seek a personal comfort level. I recognize this will be difficult for some, but I want you to be invested in what we are going to do.

I do not claim to always be right, but I do claim to always be clear.

The story begins with Parsifal. He is the legendary knight who sought the Holy Grail. As you know, the Grail was the chalice used by Jesus at the Last Supper. For Parsifal it symbolized a contact with the holy, with spiritual reality. His quest for the Grail was a quest for the truth about life and immortality.

The secret of the Grail was held by an old King, but this King was suffering from a mysterious illness. His whole kingdom was cast under this same spell. The palace and its gardens were in decay, the springs of the kingdom were drying up, trees would not bear fruit, and even the animals were no longer bearing young.

Knights from all over the realm arrived every day seeking news of the king's health. Then one day Parsifal arrived – poor and unknown. He paid no attention to courtly custom and politeness, but made straight for the king's chamber, and without greeting, or inquiry about the king's health, said, “Where is the Grail?” As if to say, “Where do I find the Holy? . . . Where is the truth about the meaning of life?”

In that instant, everything was transformed. The King rose from his bed, made well; springs brought forth water; vegetation began to grow; animals were with young; and the castle was restored. Parsifal's question regenerated the whole land.

The central point here is that institutions perish where there are no seekers of truth, no adventurers. It is enough, you see, simply to raise the central questions, to pose the problem, to become a seeker, for life to return.

For a church to begin to ask questions inevitably leads to seeking answers, which leads to vision, which leads to mission.

There is more to be said and it will be said. We are on the journey of creating the church of our dreams.

Episcopal Journey of Hope: Clergy Divorce

Episcopal Journey of Hope: Clergy Divorce

Seeker Dialogue

Every Friday, I gather with a group of eight people who are  spiritual seekers.They are not members of my parish, but they are extremely dedicated to examining the nature and living of the spiritual life. Their interest is a serious and disciplined pursuit for this group.

Even though we have met for about two years, the members have never expressed any interest in Episcopal theology or liturgy. Yet, they are faithful in their weekly attendance. I have never forced the group into adopting an Episcopal character, rather we explore various ideas and practices of spirituality. The topics include a wide range, such as the history and expressions of Christian mysticism, Zen Buddhism, Taoism, New Thought concepts, Existential philosophy, transcendental idealism, methods of meditation, Lectio Divina, the Jesus prayer etc.

There is no set text, materials or workbook, instead we seem to move from one particular spiritual writer to another. We explore a text and engage in an in depth sharing of ideas and feelings that come from the text. We use two words that express the functioning of an open ended spiritual dialogue with a text and each other, namely the  shimmering of the soul and the raising of spiritual consciousness and the shimmering of the soul.

Raising of Spiritual Consciousness

An essential part of spiritual formation is allowing the conscious mind to enter into a state of spiritual awareness. There are many ways of describing consciousness, but for the sake of brevity consciousness simply means being focused. When the mind is focused on the pursuit of God in our life, then we enter into a state of spiritual consciousness. The traditional methods of moving to a state of spiritual consciousness is by means of prayer, meditation and spiritual reading. In the weekly formation group we spend time in meditation using a variety of methods such as Christian Zen, visual biblical meditations, mantras etc. We read aloud from a spiritual text and dialogue about the meaning and application of the text.

Spiritual Shimmering

The concept of spiritual shimmering is very important to the raising of consciousness. For example, we might read the text Hidden Jesus, Hidden Buddha, the Cloud of Unknowing or Become a Better You by Joel Osteen. The group is asked if there was any reading in the text today that caused a shimmering in your soul. When we share these shimmering insights and feelings, we begin to sense our souls moving together. It is this shimmering and the moving of souls that takes us to a higher level of spiritual awareness.

Existential Movement

Spiritual formation is about taking care of the mind, body and soul. In this life these three characteristics of being a person are never separate. Spirituality gives care to the soul to the extent that the mind and body are moved. In our spiritual formation group, the soul is moved to the new possibilities for a more spiritual life by shimmering. We are moved by this idea, this feeling, this moment of meditative silence, this new person or this new situation. We can never separate the soul from the body and the body becomes spiritual only in movement.

God has not created us as static creatures. It is the nature of the soul to move towards the spiritual possibilities that become apparent to the seeker. It is only when we move that we discover through the our continuous encounter with others and the situations of life our spiritual nature.

Moving to Become a Better You

Last week in our group, we were sharing some ideas about the empowering nature of spirituality. One of the members had been to a Joel Osteen conference and suggested that he empowers people to get on with their life. We discussed how often many priests and ministers are critical of Osteen saying, "Oh, he is just motivational speaker; it is not really Christianity." Well, we disagreed! We were inclined to regard his teachings as a type of Existentialism Idealism.

I suggest that many of the clergy that criticize Osteen have never read his work. I have read his work, and I believe he preaches a spiritual formation of Christian Existential Idealism. For example, look at the topics in his book: Become a Better You: Keep Moving Forward, Be Positive Toward Yourself, Develop better Relationships, Form Better habits, Embrace the Place Where you Are, Develop Your Inner Life, Stay Passionate About Life.

Episcopal Journey of Hope Movement

Obviously, there are thousands of people who are moved by the Osteen existential empowerment style of preaching and teaching. It seems to me that people today are looking for spiritual leaders who have a concrete spirituality that moves the mind, body and soul to living a better life. Looking at the number of people listening and reading spiritual teachers like Osteen, Joyce Myers and Bishop Jakes, I would say that Episcopalians have some serious questions to ask.


  .    

  

Necessary Endings

"The tomorrow that you desire and envision may never come to pass if you do
not end some things you are doing today." Dr. Henry Cloud

Look at what is happening today that spells doom for tomorrow.  Statistics
released by the National Episcopal Church for the year 2011 show us shutting
down 58 congregations last year with more then 300 congregations closed in
the past five years.  We lost 28,861 active baptized members last year and
17% of our active baptized members over the last ten years. Our overall loss
of membership in the last fifty years is nearly 50%. The average Sunday
attendance per congregation is just 65 persons per weekend. 

It is noted that twenty-four domestic dioceses reported slight membership
growth last year even though nationally we lost thousands of members and the
average Sunday attendance is up less then one person per diocese per year.
Most of those increases are statistically meaningless with half showing less
then a one hundred new members and several less then 10 new members.  In all
cases of reported growth the numbers are well within the margin of error;
the reality is that our Episcopal Church continues in sharp membership
decline. 

We all know that endings are a part of life; this is especially true in the
Church.  Therefore, it is difficult to understand that after all the decline
noted above, our leadership still clings to yesterday's ideas, structure,
and strategies.  One of the most grievous failures is the current
multiplicity of dioceses which most bishops conceive to operate as though
the diocese is comparable to large parish. They hire staff and expand
programs all the while knowing what happens at diocesan level does not grow
local congregations. We have been tolerant of this arrogance long enough.
Until we do some drastic endings, we cannot be in a position for a new and
fruitful beginning!

It is time for the American Episcopal Church to do some serious pruning -
any gardener knows that a rosebush (or a Church) cannot reach its full
potential without systematic and purposeful pruning.  The gardener knows
that removing unproductive and inappropriate appendages puts an end to
diverting precious resources. Most of our dioceses, bishops, diocesan staffs
and diocesan programs are unproductive appendages when measured by the
standard of parish growth.

To be sure, some of the factors that adversely affect the Church are
external.  Nevertheless, many of our most destructive strategies are
internal; we are promoting our own decline!

The most strategic way to cut our 99 domestic dioceses back to a reasonable
number is to prune the bishop's budget. Let's not delude ourselves; the
diocesan budget in every domestic jurisdiction is the bishop's budget!
Items and activities supported by the bishop become part of a line-item;
requests not approved by the bishop fail to be included. This is not hard to
understand because the budgeting process is controlled by diocesan staff and
often veiled in secrecy. Some bishops actually write the diocesan budget
themselves.  One diocese presented a budget with more then 50% of the
expenditures going for the cost of bishop and staff and yet no detail was
provided; no justification for who got what, just one total.  Yes, it is the
bishop's budget.  (Kudos to those few unique bishops who are/were completely
transparent in budging and worked to reduce diocesan spending.)

The bishop's budget may be presented as a "Mission Statement" so that a vote
against the bishop's budget is a vote against "Mission."  Don't be fooled.
Challenge the bishop's budget for details; don't be put off by excuses such
as we are trying to protect employee privacy or the diocesan council voted
for secrecy.  People of the diocese have a right to know what compensation,
benefits and perks are provided to the bishop and each of the staff.  How do
diocesan position packages compare to the rectors, associate clergy, lay
professional staff and administrative positions in congregations?  You might
be shocked at how well people in the bishop's budget are compensated.

If the bishop's budget is not fully transparent and in complete detail -
move for a written ballot by individual line item so that obscure entries
can be rejected. Do not authorize diocesan council to approve a budget in
lieu of convention action. Regrettably it will most often be the
lay-delegates to diocesan convention that take the lead in challenging the
bishop's budget because many of the current clergy generation have yet to be
weaned from seeking the bishop's favor.  Others are simply acclimated to
staying under the radar of decent. 

Drying up the bishop's budget is a necessary ending that will force
consolidation of dioceses plus curtailment of diocesan staffs and programs;
in turn, this will free resources for local congregations who have always
been the front line in the Anglican Communion. "The tomorrow that you desire
and envision may never come to pass if you do not end some things you are
doing today."


Rector@garygilbertson.org

A Manifesto of Hope

I find it amazing that Episcopal Journey of Hope has had over 16,000 visits in about nine months. That in itself is hopeful for us writers who originally did not have any idea about who would check us out or what really we might ourselves state. Nonetheless an evolution of purpose seems to be occurring as we write and discover what we think of each others’ topics and readers’ response.

In particular, personally I tend to focus on that essentially sputtering and struggling structure of the Episcopal Church in which we still live, move and occasionally suffer-- the episcopacy. I keep finding myself  feeling a mix of pain, past pride, contemporary interest and no small amount of disdain for the episcopal office. My passionate interest in the episcopacy is doubtless why I will finally have lived all but the first fifteen years as an Episcopalian (thanks largely to my cousins, the Shahan family). I see all of us  American Anglicans historically as defined by the episcopacy even as many of us find its present practices as bloated, expensive and ineffective. I know if I did not feel so committed in my concern, I would probably otherwise retreat  into our local clergy breakfast meetings for mutual support, pointless bitching and hopeless apathy.

My, and I dare say our, sense of hope resides in our active commitment to have authentic public regard for our ECUSA concerns because we know hope is the compass and directionality for our faith journey and do sense love’s empowerment to keep us moving in a true direction. This true trajectory is about the structural, or incarnational, power of love in our tradition to manifest itself in human life, organization and systems of finance, justice and mission. We do so at the heart of it all with an essential sense of finding value in the historic episcopacy. The question I certainly have begged of myself to answer for nearly twenty years is about  episcopacy, our inheritance in all its varied and mixed history of creative mission, highly varied practice and structure and in its frequent corruption as it has fallen over itself from the power of love into the love of power. My hope is that episcopacy has an essential authenticity which can be reformed and redirected  toward a true direction, once again returning to an evolving, manifested power of love.

While my and our essays in Episcopal Journey of Hope  regarding content, focus and interest varies, I believe we are united in our own episcopal sense of true vision: the quest for authentic oversight, foresight, insight and surround sight that causes us to see as much of a wholesome vision as each moment carries us into. We, like some old spider, are an experienced and imaginative creature of many eyes and legs spinning trails and tales of hope to catch once in awhile the smell, taste and touch of the Spirit. And when that manifestation of spirit hits our web, with it we vibrate with joy and excitement.

I need not invite you, as you are in this great web of life discovered, revealed and celebrated. But just so you know, the contributors to Episcopal Journey of Hope are here. We are persistent.  In the end, we should all  challenge our Episcopal Church as we feel so called to renew hope and the power of love.

Existentialism and Christian Zen

This blog is to recommend a short, excellent book by fellow blogger Bill McVey.  Its title is Existentialism and Christian Zen and you can buy it from amazon.com.  Early on McVey establishes the fact that existence precedes essence.  Trained in the tradition of Scholasticism, he renounces it promptly and centers on the reality that we live out our existence every day in anxiety-driven wandering and discover a solution by "reaching into the deepest elements of humanity."  For McVey this is Zen, which "fits will with my heart, mind and most of all my existential wandering soul."

In Zen "we face a similar existential philosophy and therapy, and it is the issue of being and non-being."  In order to experience being at the most profound level, we must first become no-thing, that is, an emptying of our consciousness and returning to our center core of nothingness.  Through the meditative practice of Zen, we rid ourselves of all extraneous thought and descend into the darkness of nothing, or no-thing.  This is not a pathological nothing, that which might be found in neurosis or psychosis, it is a nothingness that one fills up with  key word or phrase, repeated over and over again, that gives the meditating person a sense of complete being, hope, somethingness, an experience of the Divine.

While admitting that Existentialism and Zen are nihilistic in the language of silence, McVey contends that it becomes constructive nihilism based on a constructive mystical nothingness that is filled up with the images of Christ.  Thus, through the practice of Zen, the Christian can fill up his or her own no-thing with a Christian word or phrase, such as the Jesus Prayer.  There is historical precedence found in the teachings of the Spanish mystics of the twelfth century, Teresa of Avila and John of the Cross.

When McVey teaches Christian Zen, he teaches the beliefs of Buddhism, i.e. "I take refuge in the Dharma (the way), I take refuges in the Sangha (my spiritual companions)".  I then explain that we will change these beliefs to:  "I take refuge in the Christ nature; I take refuge in the way of Christ; I take refuge in my spiritual community."

This important contribution to Christian spirituality is a mere 93 pages and well worth the read.  Amazon has very good prices.  Check it out.

Clergy Wellness

If you believe the 2006 CREDO clergy wellness report, Episcopal clergy are in pretty good shape.  The report says,  "Although Episcopal clergy have reported many serious health risk factors, their general sense of well-being, confidence in undertaking new challenges, and commitment to their ministries are strong."

There are 6113 priests employed in the church and 646 of them completed the Mayo Clinic Health Risk Assessment and two other assessments in 2005 when they prepared to attend one of the Clergy Wellness conferences sponsored by the Church Pension Fund.  Perhaps this is an accurate sample to determine general clergy wellness, but then again it may not.

In an excellent summary of the report, ENS reporter Mary Frances Schjonberg reports that "stress poses an emotional health risk for 72.9 percent of Episcopal clergy," which is 16.7 percent higher for males "than that found in the population used for benchmark comparisons, and 13.3 percent higher for females.  In addition, 27 percent of females reported that they deal with depression and 15 percent of males.  Overall, clergy reports of depression exceed the benchmark population by 12.4 percent."  It is remarkable to me that female clergy depression is 12 percent higher than the men.  Perhaps men are more in denial, or is it that they are simply not more depressed.  It would be interesting to me, and hopefully interesting to women clergy, if CREDO would bring in an expert in women's health to dig a bit deeper and address the statistic.  On the male side, it would be interesting to know if there was a way to measure denial in the male clergy, if this is true.

However, Episcopal clergy fare much better on the depression scale than some other denominations.  70 percent of United Church of Christ pastors report that they fight depression on a regular basis and 1 in 5 pastors are in the advanced stage of burnout.  50 percent of the pastors surveyed are so discouraged that they would leave the ministry if the could, but they have no other way to make a living.  Evangelical sources report that 80 percent of pastors and 84 percent of their spouses are discouraged or are dealing with depression and the Southern Baptist Convention paid out $64 million in stress-related claims, second in dollar amounts only to maternity benefits.

According to Schjonberg's summary, "86 percent of Episcopal clergy reported that they were moderately to high confident about undertaking challenges and engaging effectively in their ministries.  Nearly a third reported the highest score in the 'meaningfulness in work' measurement.  Well-being measurements were also high (92 percent in religious well-being, 90 percent in existential well-being, and 79 percent in career/vocation satisfaction)."  In addition, Episcopal clergy are not as intent on leaving the ordained ministry as some others.  This is very good news when compared with the other denominations we have cited in this article.

If all this is true, my hunch is that Episcopal clergy are more likely than others to seek professional help when distressed, more likely to have a best friend or spiritual guide to help them through difficult times, and more apt to join a support group.  The report also indicates that our clergy are more intentional about taking pro-active steps to engage in positive wellness activities, while concentrating on positive outcomes rather than pathological diagnoses.

If you haven't read the report, you can find it by clicking on the report on CREDO's homepage.  As I mentioned before, ENS has an excellent summary.  Please take a look.  It doesn't take that long to check it out.

CREDO is supposed to take another wellness survey this year.  A lot has changed in the past six years.  More full time jobs are gone and many clergy are simply hanging on to what they have.  Bishops are filling small parishes with part time clergy and diocesan training academies are gradually replacing seminary education.  I wonder if a wellness survey taken this year will produce the same positive indicators as the 2006 survey did.  To this end I have created a poll on our blog where we can get your opinions.  Does the 2006 clergy wellness report accurately reflect clergy wellness today?  Take the poll.  Let us know what you think.

Prayerful Consideration

 

There is a phrase which crops up in correspondence from some folks. It is usually associated with an action they have taken or intend to take and it sounds spiritual enough on the surface, but is there more?

People do not actually speak this way in conversation. It is more of a written model of discourse. Is this a possible discontinuity? There is a kind of distance that belies the essential feeling of the phrase. Are we more ourselves when writing or speaking? Who would you rather meet, a speaker or a writer?

I have loved many of the things written by Scott Peck, but I heard him speak once and I was underwhelmed by his ability on that occasion.

Jesus did not talk this way. What would Jesus think about such talk? Can we know? Can we guess? It may be worth a try.

Here it comes. See if this sounds like anyone you know. See if this sounds like anyone you would want to know. See if this sounds like you. See if this sounds like a friend of “you know who”.

After prayerful consideration, I/we have decided to . . . . The words, which follow, are usually in the form of an announcement of something which is not going to happen. Example. “After prayerful consideration, we have decided we are not going to make a pledge this year or any year until that heretic bishop is gone”. Or, “after prayerful consideration, I must submit my resignation from the vestry until such time as we get a rector who knows the Bible”. Or, “after prayerful consideration, we have come to the conclusion that there are too many men in the priesthood and we will not attend another service presided over by a man”.

You know I am just making these up, right? No one actually talks like that. It is just a kind of mystery to me. What kind of prayer would lead a person into a response which feels filled with so much anger, rejection, and hostility? This is not my experience of prayer. I wonder about the many people who pray about decisions with a positive outcome, about things they will do to build up the Body of Christ and never use these words. Come with me to the playground of the mind.

Harold: “God, Marge and I have been thinking about the terrible things which have been going on in the church and we believe something must be done. We are thinking about not pledging this time. What to you think”?

God: Silence

Harold: “God, if you agree, don't say anything”.

God: Silence

Harold: “See, Marge, we were right. Let's get this thing down in writing while it is still fresh in our minds”.

Dear XXXXXX:

After prayerful consideration, . . . .

I just cannot get away from the notion that God always calls us to states of generosity and hospitality. God always calls us to places of compassion even in the face of difficulties. This more friendly notion of things is a little more prevalent in the New Testament, which is where Christian people like to find their primary identity.

I believe deeply in prayer as describing our connecting relationship with God. My problem is with the use of prayer language to justify an angry opinion. Certainly we can disagree on issues, but make no mistake about it; God calls us into a unity which must suffer our differences of opinion. And, there is a place for all of us at the table as well as a place for a little humor in all of this.

After prayerful consideration, I have decided to leave Harold and Marge to their own devices, because they do not have a question. They only have answers.